Chicken Soup For The Soul Jack Canfield part 1

Chicken Soup for the Soul
By
Jack Canfield
&
Mark Victor Hansen
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CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
ON LOVE
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF
ON PARENTING
ON LEARNING
LIVE YOUR DREAM
OVERCOMING OBSTACLES
ECLECTIC WISDOM
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INTRODUCTION
We know everything we need to know to end the needless emotional suffering
that many people currently experience. High self-esteem and personal
effectiveness are available to anyone willing to take the time to pursue them.
It is difficult to translate the spirit of a live presentation into the written word.
Stories we tell every day have had to be rewritten five times to work as well in
print as they do live. When you are reading these stories, please forget
everything you ever learned in your speed-reading classes. Slow down. Listen to
the words in your heart as well as in your mind. Savor each story. Let it touch
you. Ask yourself, what does it awaken in me? What does it suggest for my life?
What feeling or action does it call forth from my inner being? Let yourself have a
personal relationship with each story.
Some stories will speak louder to you than others. Some will have deeper
meaning. Some will make you cry. Some will make you laugh. Some will give you
a warm feeling all over. Some may hit you right between the eyes. There is no
right reaction. There is only your reaction. Let it happen and let it be.
Don't hurry through this book. Take your time. Enjoy it. Savor it. Engage it with
your whole being. It represents thousands of hours of culling the "best of the
best" from our 40 years of combined experience. One last thing: Reading a book
like this is a little like sitting down to eat a meal of all desserts. It may be a little
too rich. It is a meal with no vegetables, salad or bread. It is all essence with very
little froth.
In our seminars and workshops we take more time to set up and discuss the
implications of each story. There are more explanations and explorations of how
to apply the lessons and principles to your everyday life. Don't just read these
stories. Take the time to digest them and make them your own.
If you find yourself moved to share a story with others, do it. When a story
makes you think of another person, call the person it brings to mind and share it.
Engage these stories and let them move you to do whatever comes up for you.
They are meant to inspire and motivate you. For a lot of these stories we went
back to the original source and asked them to write it or tell it in their own words.
Many of the stories will be in their voice, not ours. We have attributed every story
we could to the original source. For all of those that are from fellow speakers and
trainers, we have included a contributors section in the back of the book where
we have listed their name, address and phone number so you can contact them
yourself if you wish.
If you find yourself moved to share a story with others, do it. When a story
makes you think of another person, call the person it brings to mind and share it.
Engage these stories and let them move you to do whatever comes up for you.
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They are meant to inspire and motivate you. For a lot of these stories we went
back to the original source and asked them to write it or tell it in their own words.
Many of the stories will be in their voice, not ours. We have attributed every story
we could to the original source. For all of those that are from fellow speakers and
trainers, we have included a contributors section in the back of the book where
we have listed their name, address and phone number so you can contact them
yourself if you wish.
Share With Us
We would love to hear your reactions to the stories in this book. Please let us
know what your favorite stories were and how they affected you. We also invite
you to send us stories you would like to see published in future editions of
Chicken Soup For The Soul. You can send us either stories you have written or
stories written by others that you have liked. Send submissions to: Chicken Soup
For The Soul P.O. Box 30880 Santa Barbara, CA 93130 fax: 805-563-2945 e-mail:
stories@canfieldgroup.com. You can also visit the Chicken Soup For The Soul site
on America Online at keyword: chickensoup. We hope you enjoy reading this book
as much as we enjoyed compiling, editing and writing it.
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ON LOVE
The day will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides and
gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for
the second time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire.
Tielhard de Chardin
Love: The One Creative Force
Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your
children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor. . . . Let no one ever
come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's
kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile,
kindness in your warm greeting. Mother Teresa
A college professor had his sociology class go into the Baltimore slums to get case
histories of 200 young boys. They were asked to write an evaluation of each boy's
future. In every case the students wrote, "He hasn't got a chance." Twenty-five
years later another sociology professor came across the earlier study. He had his
students follow up on the project to see what had happened to these boys. With
the exception of 20 boys who had moved away or died, the students learned that
176 of the remaining 180 had achieved more than ordinary success as lawyers,
doctors and businessmen.
The professor was astounded and decided to pursue the matter further.
Fortunately, all the men were in the area and he was able to ask each one, "How
do you account for your success?" In each case the reply came with feeling,
'There was a teacher."
The teacher was still alive, so he sought her out and asked the old but still alert
lady what magic formula she had used to pull these boys out of the slums into
successful achievement.
The teacher's eyes sparkled and her lips broke into a gentle smile. "It's really
very simple," she said. "I loved those boys."
Eric Butterworth
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All I Remember
When my father spoke to me, he always began the conversation with "Have I told
you yet today how much I adore you?" The expression of love was reciprocated
and, in his later years, as his life began to visibly ebb, we grew even closer.... if
that were possible.
At 82 he was ready to die, and I was ready to let him go so that his suffering
would end. We laughed and cried and held hands and told each other of our love
and agreed that it was time. I said, "Dad, after you've gone I want a sign from
you that you're fine." He laughed at the absurdity of that; Dad didn't believe in
reincarnation. I wasn't positive I did either, but I had had many experiences that
convinced me I could get some signal "from the other side."
My father and I were so deeply connected I felt his heart attack in my chest at
the moment he died. Later I mourned that the hospital, in their sterile wisdom,
had not let me hold his hand as he had slipped away. Day after day I prayed to
hear from him, but nothing happened. Night after night I asked for a dream
before I fell asleep. And yet four long months passed and I heard and felt nothing
but grief at his loss. Mother had died five years before of Alzheimer's, and,
though I had grown daughters of my own, I felt like a lost child.
One day, while I was lying on a massage table in a dark quiet room waiting for
my appointment, a wave of longing for my father swept over me. I began to
wonder if I had been too demanding in asking for a sign from him. I noticed that
my mind was in a hyper-acute state. I experienced an unfamiliar clarity in which I
could have added long columns of figures in my head. I checked to make sure I
was awake and not dreaming, and I saw that I was as far removed from a
dreamy state as one could possibly be. Each thought I had, was like a drop of
water disturbing a still pond, and I marveled at the peacefulness of each passing
moment. Then I thought, "I've been trying to control the messages from the
other side; I will stop that now."
Suddenly my mother's face appeared—my mother, as she had been before
Alzheimer's disease had stripped her of her mind, her humanity and 50 pounds.
Her magnificent silver hair crowned her sweet face. She was so real and so close I
felt I could reach out and touch her. She looked as she had a dozen years ago,
before the wasting away had begun. I even smelled the fragrance of Joy, her
favorite perfume. She seemed to be waiting and did not speak. I wondered how it
could happen that I was thinking of my father and my mother appeared, and I
felt a little guilty that I had not asked for her as well.
I said, "Oh, Mother, I'm so sorry that you had to suffer with that horrible disease."
She tipped her head slightly to one side, as though to acknowledge what I had
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Law of Attraction Havensaid about her suffering. Then she smiled—a beautiful smile—and said very
distinctly, "But all I remember is love." And she disappeared. I began to shiver in
a room suddenly gone cold, and I knew in my bones that the love we give and
receive is all that matters and all that is remembered. Suffering disappears - love
remains.
Her words are the most important I have ever heard, and that moment is forever
engraved on my heart.
I have not yet seen or heard from my father, but I have no doubts that someday,
when I least expect it, he will appear and say, "Have I told you yet today that I
love you?"
Bobbie Probstein
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Heart Song
Once upon a time there was a great man who married the woman of his dreams.
With their love, they created a little girl. She was a bright and cheerful little girl
and the great man loved her very much.
When she was very little, he would pick her up, hum a tune and dance with her
around the room, and he would tell her, "I love you, little girl." When the little girl
was growing up, the great man would hug her and tell her, "I love you, little girl."
The little girl would pout and say, "I'm not a little girl anymore." Then the man
would laugh and say, "But to me, you'll always be my little girl."
The little girl who-was-not-little-anymore left her home and went into the world.
As she learned more about herself, she learned more about the man. She saw
that he truly was great and strong, for now she recognized his strengths. One of
his strengths was his ability to express his love to his family. It didn't matter
where she went in the world, the man would call her and say, "I love you, little
girl."
The day came when the little girl who-was-not-little-anymore received a phone
call. The great man was damaged.
He had had a stroke. He was aphasic, they explained to the girl. He couldn't talk
anymore and they weren't sure that he could understand the words spoken to
him. He could no longer smile, laugh, walk, hug, dance or tell the little girl who
was-
not-little-anymore that he loved her.
And so she went to the side of the great man. When she walked into the room
and saw him, he looked small and not strong at all. He looked at her and tried to
speak, but he could not.
The little girl did the only thing she could do. She climbed up on the bed next to
the great man. Tears ran from both of their eyes and she drew her arms around
the useless shoulders of her father.
Her head on his chest, she thought of many things. She remembered the
wonderful times together and how she had always felt protected and cherished by
the great man. She felt grief for the loss she was to endure, the words of love
that had comforted her.
And then she heard from within the man, the beat of his heart. The heart where
the music and the words had always lived. The heart beat on, steadily
unconcerned about the damage to the rest of the body. And while she rested
there, the magic happened. She heard what she needed to hear.
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His heart beat out the words that his mouth could no longer say.... I love you I
love you I love you Little girl Little girl Little girl And she was comforted.
Patty Hansen
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True Love
Moses Mendelssohn, the grandfather of the well-known German composer, was
far from being handsome. Along with a rather short stature, he had a grotesque
hunchback.
One day he visited a merchant in Hamburg who had a lovely daughter named
Frumtje. Moses fell hopelessly in love with her. But Frumtje was repulsed by his
misshapen appearance.
When it came time for him to leave, Moses gathered his courage and climbed the
stairs to her room to take one last opportunity to speak with her. She was a vision
of heavenly beauty, but caused him deep sadness by her refusal to look at him.
After several attempts at conversation, Moses shyly asked, "Do you believe
marriages are made in heaven?" "Yes," she answered, still looking at the floor.
"And do you?"
"Yes I do," he replied. "You see, in heaven at the birth of each boy, the Lord
announces which girl he will marry. When I was born, my future bride was
pointed out to me. Then the Lord added, 'But your wife will be humpbacked.'
"Right then and there I called out, 'Oh Lord, a humpbacked woman would be a
tragedy. Please, Lord, give me the hump and let her be beautiful.'"
Then Frumtje looked up into his eyes and was stirred by some deep memory. She
reached out and gave Mendelssohn her hand and later became his devoted wife.
Barry and Joyce Vissell
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Law of Attraction HavenThe Hugging Judge
‘Don't bug me! Hug me!’ - Bumper Sticker
Lee Shapiro is a retired judge. He is also one of the most genuinely loving people
we know. At one point in his career, Lee realized that love is the greatest power
there is. As a result, Lee became a hugger. He began offering everybody a hug.
His colleagues dubbed him "the hugging judge" (as opposed to the hanging
judge, we suppose). The bumper sticker on his car reads, "Don't bug me! Hug
me!"
About six years ago Lee created what he calls his Hugger Kit. On the outside it
reads "A heart for a hug." The inside contains thirty little red embroidered hearts
with stickums on the back. Lee will take out his Hugger Kit, go around to people
and offer them a little red heart in exchange for a hug.
Lee has become so well known for this that he is often invited to keynote
conferences and conventions, where he shares his message of unconditional love.
At a conference in San Francisco, the local news media challenged him by saying,
"It is easy to give out hugs here in the conference to people who self-selected to
be here. But this would never work in the real world."
They challenged Lee to give away some hugs on the streets of San Francisco.
Followed by a television crew from the local news station, Lee went out onto the
street. First he approached a woman walking by. "Hi, I'm Lee Shapiro, the
hugging judge. I'm giving out these hearts in exchange for a hug." "Sure," she
replied. "Too easy," challenged the local commentator. Lee looked around. He saw
a meter maid who was being given a hard time by the owner of a BMW to whom
she was giving a ticket. He marched up to her, camera crew in tow, and said, "You
look like you could use a hug. I'm the hugging judge and I'm offering you one."
She accepted.
The television commentator threw down one final challenge. "Look, here comes a
bus. San Francisco bus drivers are the toughest, crabbiest, meanest people in the
whole town. Let's see you get him to hug you." Lee took the challenge.
As the bus pulled up to the curb, Lee said, "Hi, I'm Lee Shapiro, the hugging
judge. This has got to be one of the most stressful jobs in the whole world. I'm
offering hugs to people today to lighten the load a little. Would you like one?" The
six-foot-two, 230-pound bus driver got out of his seat, stepped down and said,
"Why not?"
Lee hugged him, gave him a heart and waved good-bye as the bus pulled out.
The TV crew was speechless. Finally, the commentator said, "I have to admit, I'm
very impressed."
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Law of Attraction HavenOne day Lee's friend Nancy Johnston showed up on his doorstep. Nancy is a
professional clown and she was wearing her clown costume, makeup and all.
"Lee, grab a bunch of your Hugger Kits and let's go out to the home for the
disabled."
When they arrived at the home, they started giving out balloon hats, hearts and
hugs to the patients. Lee was uncomfortable. He had never before hugged people
who were terminally ill, severely retarded or quadriplegic. It was definitely a
stretch. But after a while it became easier, with Nancy and Lee acquiring an
entourage of doctors, nurses and orderlies who followed them from ward to ward.
After several hours they entered the last ward. These were 34 of the worst cases
Lee had seen in his life. The feeling was so grim it took his heart away. But out of
their commitment to share their love and to make a difference, Nancy and Lee
started working their way around the room followed by the entourage of medical
staff, all of whom by now had hearts on their collars and balloon hats on their
heads.
Finally, Lee came to the last person, Leonard. Leonard was wearing a big white
bib which he was drooling on. Lee looked at Leonard dribbling onto his bib and
said, "Let's go, Nancy. There's no way we can get through to this person." Nancy
replied, "C'mon, Lee. He's a fellow human being, too, isn't he?" Then she placed a
funny balloon hat on his head. Lee took one of his little red hearts and placed it
on Leonard's bib. He took a deep breath, leaned down and gave Leonard a hug.
All of a sudden Leonard began to squeal, "Eeeeehh! Eeeeeehh!" Some of the
other patients in the room began to clang things together. Lee turned to the staff
for some sort of explanation only to find that every doctor, nurse and orderly was
crying. Lee asked the head nurse, "What's going on?"
Lee will never forget what she said: "This is the first time in 23 years we've ever
seen Leonard smile."
How simple it is to make a difference in the lives of others.
Jack Canfield and Mark V. Hansen
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Law of Attraction HavenIt Can't Happen Here?
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We
need 12 hugs a day for growth.
Virginia Satir
We always teach people to hug each other in our workshops and seminars. Most
people respond by saying, "You could never hug people where I work." Are you
sure?
Here is a letter from a graduate of one of our seminars.
Dear Jack, I started out this day in rather a bleak mood. My friend Rosalind
stopped over and asked me if I was giving hugs today. I just grumbled something
but then I began to think about hugs and everything during the week. I would
look at the sheet you gave us on How to Keep the Seminar Alive and I would
cringe when I got to the part about giving and getting hugs because I couldn't
imagine giving hugs to the people at work.
Well I decided to make it "hugs day" and I started giving hugs to the customers
who came to my counter. It was great to see how people just brightened up. An
MBA student jumped up on top of the counter and did a dance. Some people
actually came back and asked for more. These two Xerox repair guys, who were
kind of just walking along not really talking to each other, were so surprised, they
just woke up and suddenly were talking and laughing down the hall.
It feels like I hugged everybody in the Wharton Business School, plus whatever
was wrong with me this morning, which included some physical pain, is all gone.
I'm sorry that this letter is so long but I'm just really excited. The neatest thing
was, at one point there were about 10 people all hugging each other out in front
of my counter. I couldn't believe this was happening.
Love,
Pamela Rogers
P.S.: On the way home I hugged a policeman on 37th Street. He said, "Wow!
Policemen never get hugs. Are you sure you don't want to throw something at
me?"
Another seminar graduate sent us the following piece on hugging:
Hugging Is
Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress
and induces sleep. It's invigorating, rejuvenating and has no unpleasant side
effects. Hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug. Hugging is all natural. It is
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Law of Attraction Havenorganic, naturally sweet, no artificial ingredients, nonpolluting, environmentally
friendly and 100 percent wholesome.
Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any occasion, fun to give and receive, shows
you care, comes with its awn wrapping and, of course, fully returnable.
Hugging is practically perfect. No batteries to wear out, inflation-proof,
nonfattening, no monthly payments, theft-proof and nontaxable. Hugging is an
underutilized resource with magical powers. When we open our hearts and arms,
we encourage others to do the same. Think of the people in your life. Are there
any words you'd like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are you
waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please don't wait! Initiate!
Charles Faraone
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Law of Attraction HavenWho You Are Makes A Difference
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in high school by
telling them the difference they each made. Using a process developed by Helice
Bridges of Del Mar, California, she called each student to the front of the class,
one at a time. First she told them how the student made a difference to her and
the class. Then she presented each of them with a blue ribbon imprinted with
gold letters which read, "Who I Am Makes a Difference."
Afterwards the teacher decided to do a class project to see what kind of impact
recognition would have on a community. She gave each of the students three
more ribbons and instructed them to go out and spread this acknowledgment
ceremony. Then they were to follow up on the results, see who honored whom
and report back to the class in about a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby company and
honored him for helping him with his career planning. He gave him a blue ribbon
and put it on his shirt. Then he gave him two extra ribbons, and said, "We're
doing a class project on recognition, and we'd like you to go out, find somebody
to honor, give them a blue ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they
can acknowledge a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going.
Then please report back to me and tell me what happened."
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss, who had been noted,
by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat his boss down and he told
him that he deeply admired him for being a creative genius. The boss seemed
very surprised. The junior executive asked him if he would accept the gift of the
blue ribbon and would he give him permission to put it on him. His surprised boss
said, "Well, sure."
The junior executive took the blue ribbon and placed it right on his boss's jacket
above his heart. As he gave him the last extra ribbon, he said, "Would you do me
a favor? Would you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody
else? The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school
and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it affects
people."
That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down. He said,
"The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office and one of
the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and gave me a blue
ribbon for being a creative genius. Imagine. He thinks I'm a creative genius. Then
he put this blue ribbon that says 'Who I Am Makes A Difference' on my jacket
above my heart. He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find somebody else
to honor. As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would
honor with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you.
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Law of Attraction Haven"My days are really hectic and when I come home I don't pay a lot of attention to
you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school
and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to sit
here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to me. Besides
your mother, you are the most important person in my life. You're a great kid and
I love you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn't stop crying. His whole
body shook. He looked up at his father and said through his tears, "I was
planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because I didn't think you loved
me. Now I don't need to."
Helice Bridges
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Law of Attraction HavenOne At A Time
A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he
walked along, he began to see another man in the distance. As he grew nearer,
he noticed that the local native kept leaning down, picking something up and
throwing it out into the water. Time and again he kept hurling things out into the
ocean.
As our friend approached even closer, he noticed that the man was picking up
starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time, he was
throwing them back into the water.
Our friend was puzzled. He approached the man and said, "Good evening, friend.
I was wondering what you are doing."
"I'm throwing these starfish back into the ocean. You see, it's low tide right now
and all of these starfish have been washed up onto the shore. If I don't throw
them back into the sea, they'll die up here from lack of oxygen."
"I understand," my friend replied, "but there must be thousands of starfish on
this beach. You can't possibly get to all of them. There are simply too many. And
don't you realize this is probably happening on hundreds of beaches all up and
down this coast. Can't you see that you can't possibly make a difference?"
The local native smiled, bent down and picked up yet another starfish, and as he
threw it back into the sea, he replied, "Made a difference to that one!"
Jack Canfield and Mark V. Hansen
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Law of Attraction HavenThe Gift
Bennet Cerf relates this touching story about a bus that was bumping along a
back road in the South.
In one seat a wispy old man sat holding a bunch of fresh flowers. Across the aisle
was a young girl whose eyes came back again and again to the man's flowers.
The time came for the old man to get off. Impulsively he thrust the flowers into
the girl's lap. "I can see you love the flowers," he explained, "and I think my wife
would like for you to have them. I'll tell her I gave them to you." The girl
accepted the flowers, then watched the old man get off the bus and walk through
the gate of a small cemetery.
Jack Canfield and Mark V. Hansen
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Law of Attraction HavenA Brother Like That
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a
Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street
urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car,
Mister?" he asked.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded.
"You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn't cost you nothing? Boy, I
wish ..." He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had
a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his
heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the
boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in
my automobile?"
"Oh yes, I'd love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would
you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show
his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong
again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he
was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down
on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for
Christmas and it didn't cost him a cent. And some day I'm gonna give you one
just like it ... then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas
windows that I've been trying to tell you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shiningeyed older
brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday
ride.
That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more
blessed to give..."
Dan Clark
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Law of Attraction HavenOn Courage
"So you think I'm courageous?" she asked.
"Yes, I do."
"Perhaps I am. But that's because I've had some inspiring teachers. I'll tell you
about one of them. Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford
Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a rare and
serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion
from her five-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease
and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor
explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be
willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before
taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liza.'
"As the transfusion progressed, he lay in a bed next to his sister and smiled, as
we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and
his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will
I start to die right away?' "Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor;
he thought he was going to have to give her all his blood.
"Yes, I've learned courage," she added, "because I've had inspiring teachers."
Dan Millman
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Law of Attraction HavenBig Ed
When I arrived in the city to present a seminar on Tough-Minded Management, a
small group of people took me to dinner to brief me on the people I would talk to
the next day.
The obvious leader of the group was Big Ed, a large burly man with a deep
rumbling voice. At dinner he informed me that he was a troubleshooter for a huge
international organization. His job was to go into certain divisions or subsidiaries
to terminate the employment of the executive in charge.
"Joe," he said, "I'm really looking forward to tomorrow because all of the guys
need to listen to a tough guy like you. They're gonna find out that my style is the
right one." He grinned and winked. I smiled. I knew the next day was going to be
different from what he was anticipating.
The next day he sat impassively all through the seminar and left at the end
without saying anything to me.
Three years later I returned to that city to present another management seminar
to approximately the same group. Big Ed was there again. At about ten o'clock he
suddenly stood up and asked loudly, "Joe, can I say something to these people?"
I grinned and said, "Sure. When anybody is as big as you are, Ed, he can say
anything he wants."
Big Ed went on to say, "All of you guys know me and some of you know what's
happened to me. I want to share it, however, with all of you. Joe, I think you'll
appreciate it by the time I've finished.
"When I heard you suggest that each of us, in order to become really tough
minded,
needed to learn to tell those closest to us that we really loved them, I
thought it was a bunch of sentimental garbage. I wondered what in the world that
had to do with being tough. You had said toughness is like leather, and hardness
is like granite, that the tough mind is open, resilient, disciplined and tenacious.
But I couldn't see what love had to do with it.
"That night, as I sat across the living room from my wife, your words were still
bugging me. What kind of courage would it take to tell my wife I loved her?
Couldn't anybody do it? You had also said this should be in the daylight and not in
the bedroom. I found myself clearing my throat and starting and then stopping.
My wife looked up and asked me what I had said, and I answered, 'Oh nothing.'
Then suddenly, I got up, walked across the room, nervously pushed her
newspaper aside and said, 'Alice, I love you.' For a minute she looked startled.
Then the tears came to her eyes and she said softly, 'Ed, I love you, too, but this
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Law of Attraction Havenis the first time in 25 years you've said it like that.'
"We talked a while about how love, if there's enough of it, can dissolve all kinds of
tensions, and suddenly I decided on the spur of the moment to call my oldest son
in New York. We have never really communicated well. When I got him on the
phone, I blurted out, 'Son, you're liable to think I'm drunk, but I'm not. I just
thought I'd call you and tell you I love you.'
'There was a pause at his end and then I heard him say quietly, 'Dad, I guess I've
known that, but it's sure good to hear. I want you to know I love you, too.' We
had a good chat and then I called my youngest son in San Francisco. We had
been closer. I told him the same thing and this, too, led to a real fine talk like
we'd never really had.
"As I lay in bed that night thinking, I realized that all the things you'd talked
about that day—real management nuts and bolts—took on extra meaning, and I
could get a handle on how to apply them if I really understood and practiced
tough-minded love.
"I began to read books on the subject. Sure enough, Joe, a lot of great people
had a lot to say, and I began to realize the enormous practicality of applied love
in my life, both at home and at work.
"As some of you guys here know, I really changed the way I work with people. I
began to listen more and to really hear. I learned what it was like to try to get to
know people's strengths rather than dwelling on their weaknesses. I began to
discover the real pleasure of helping build their confidence. Maybe the most
important thing of all was that I really began to understand that an excellent way
to show love and respect for people was to expect them to use their strengths to
meet objectives we had worked out together.
'Joe, this is my way of saying thanks. Incidentally, talk about practical! I'm now
executive vice-president of the company and they call me a pivotal leader. Okay,
you guys, now listen to this guy!"
Joe Batten
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Law of Attraction HavenLove And The Cabbie
I was in New York the other day and rode with a friend in a taxi. When we got
out, my friend said to the driver, "Thank you for the ride. You did a superb job of
driving."
The taxi driver was stunned for a second. Then he said, "Are you a wise guy or
something?"
"No, my dear man, and I'm not putting you on. I admire the way you keep cool in
heavy traffic."
"Yeah," the driver said and drove off.
"What was that all about?" I asked.
"I am trying to bring love back to New York," he said. "I believe it's the only thing
that can save the city."
"How can one man save New York?"
"It's not one man. I believe I have made that taxi driver's day. Suppose he has 20
fares. He's going to be nice to those 20 fares because someone was nice to him.
Those fares in turn will be kinder to their employees or shopkeepers or waiters or
even their own families. Eventually the goodwill could spread to at least 1,000
people. Now that isn't bad, is it?" "But you're depending on that taxi driver to
pass your goodwill to others."
"I'm not depending on it," my friend said. "I'm aware that the system isn't
foolproof so I might deal with ten different people today. If out of ten I can make
three happy, then eventually I can indirectly influence the attitudes of 3,000
more."
'It sounds good on paper," I admitted, "but I'm not sure it works in practice."
"Nothing is lost if it doesn't. It didn't take any of my time to tell that man he was
doing a good job. He neither received a larger tip nor a smaller tip. If it fell on
deaf ears, so what? Tomorrow there will be another taxi driver I can try to make
happy."
"You're some kind of a nut," I said.
"That shows how cynical you have become. I have made a study of this. The
thing that seems to be lacking, besides money of course, for our postal
employees, is that no one tells people who work for the post office what a good
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Law of Attraction Havenjob they're doing."
"But they're not doing a good job."
"They're not doing a good job because they feel no one cares if they do or not.
Why shouldn't someone say a kind word to them?"
We were walking past a structure in the process of being built and passed five
workmen eating their lunch. My friend stopped. "That's a magnificent job you
men have done. It must be difficult and dangerous work."
The workmen eyed my friend suspiciously.
"When will it be finished?"
"June," a man grunted.
"Ah. That really is impressive. You must all be very proud."
We walked away. I said to him, "I haven't seen anyone like you since Man of La
Mancha."
"When those men digest my words, they will feel better for it. Somehow the city
will benefit from their happiness."
"But you can't do this all alone!" I protested. "You're just one man."
"The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Making people in the city
become kind again is not an easy job, but if I can enlist other people in my
campaign ..."
"You just winked at a very plain-looking woman," I said.
"Yes, I know," he replied. "And if she's a schoolteacher, her class will be in for a
fantastic day.
Art Buchwald
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Law of Attraction HavenA Simple Gesture
Everybody can be great . . . because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a
college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to
serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of
him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two
sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and
helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same
way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the
boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, that he was
having a lot of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with
his girlfriend.
They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch
some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some
shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other
around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior
high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts
over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came, and three weeks before
graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. "Do you ever
wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see,
I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I
had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to
commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I
realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many
others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up my books that
day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."
John W. Schlatter
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Law of Attraction HavenThe Smile
Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your
children, smile at each other—it doesn't matter who it is—and that will help you
to grow up in greater love for each other.
Mother Teresa
Many Americans are familiar with The Little Prince, a wonderful book by Antoine
de Saint-Exupery. This is a whimsical and fabulous book and works as a children's
story as well as a thought-provoking adult fable. Far fewer are aware of Saint-
Exupery's other writings, novels and short stories.
Saint-Exupery was a fighter pilot who fought against the Nazis and was killed in
action. Before World War II, he fought in the Spanish Civil War against the
fascists. He wrote a fascinating story based on that experience entitled The Smile
(Le Sourire). It is this story which I'd like to share with you now. It isn't clear
whether or not he meant this to be autobiographical or fiction. I choose to believe
it is the former.
He said that he was captured by the enemy and thrown into a jail cell. He was
sure that from the contemptuous looks and rough treatment he received from his
jailers he would be executed the next day. From here, I'll tell the story as I
remember it in my own words.
"I was sure that I was to be killed. I became terribly nervous and distraught. I
fumbled in my pockets to see if there were any cigarettes which had escaped
their search. I found one and because of my shaking hands, I could barely get it
to my lips. But I had no matches, they had taken those.
"I looked through the bars at my jailer. He did not make eye contact with me.
After all, one does not make eye contact with a thing, a corpse. I called out to
him 'Have you got a light, por favor?' He looked at me, shrugged and came over
to light my cigarette.
"As he came close and lit the match, his eyes inadvertently locked with mine. At
that moment, I smiled. I don't know why I did that. Perhaps it was nervousness,
perhaps it was because, when you get very close, one to another, it is very hard
not to smile. In any case, I smiled. In that instant, it was as though a spark
jumped across the gap between our two hearts, our two human souls. I know he
didn't want to, but my smile leaped through the bars and generated a smile on
his lips, too. He lit my cigarette but stayed near, looking at me directly in the eyes
and continuing to smile.
"I kept smiling at him, now aware of him as a person and not just a jailer. And his
looking at me seemed to have a new dimension, too. 'Do you have kids?' he
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Law of Attraction Havenasked.
you have kids?' he asked. "'Yes, here, here.' I took out my wallet and nervously
fumbled for the pictures of my family. He, too, took out the pictures of his ninos
and began to talk about his plans and hopes for them. My eyes filled with tears. I
said that I feared that I'd never see my family again, never have the chance to
see them grow up. Tears came to his eyes, too.
"Suddenly, without another word, he unlocked my cell and silently led me out.
Out of the jail, quietly and by back routes, out of the town. There, at the edge of
town, he released me. And without another word, he turned back toward the
town.
"My life was saved by a smile."
Yes, the smile—the unaffected, unplanned, natural connection between people. I
tell this story in my work because I'd like people to consider that underneath all
the layers we construct to protect ourselves, our dignity, our titles, our degrees,
our status and our need to be seen in certain ways—underneath all that, remains
the authentic, essential self. I'm not afraid to call it the soul. I really believe that
if that part of you and that part of me could recognize each other, we wouldn't be
enemies. We couldn't have hate or envy or fear. I sadly conclude that all those
other layers, which we so carefully construct through our lives, distance and
insulate us from truly contacting others. Saint-Exupery's story speaks of that
magic moment when two souls recognize each other. I've had just a few moments
like that. Falling in love is one example. And looking at a baby. Why do we smile
when we see a baby? Perhaps it's because we see someone without all the
defensive layers, someone whose smile for us we know to be fully genuine and
without guile. And that baby-soul inside us smiles wistfully in recognition.
Hanoch McCarty
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Law of Attraction HavenAmy Graham
After flying all night from Washington, D.C., I was tired as I arrived at the Mile
High Church in Denver to conduct three services and hold a workshop on
prosperity consciousness. As I entered the church, Dr. Fred Vogt asked me, "Do
you know about the Make-A-Wish Foundation?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well, Amy Graham has been diagnosed as having terminal leukemia. They gave
her three days. Her dying wish was to attend your services."
I was shocked. I felt a combination of elation, awe and doubt. I couldn't believe
it. I thought kids who were dying would want to go see Disneyland, meet
Sylvester Stallone, Mr. "T" or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Surely they wouldn't want
to spend their final days listening to Mark Victor Hansen. Why would a kid with
only a few days to live want to come hear a motivational speaker? Suddenly my
thoughts were interrupted....
"Here's Amy," Vogt said as he put her frail hand in mine. Before me stood a 17-
year-old girl wearing a bright red and orange turban to cover her head, which was
bald from all of the chemotherapy treatments. Her frail body was bent and weak.
She said, "My two goals were to graduate from high school and to attend your
sermon. My doctors didn't believe I could do either. They didn't think I'd have
enough energy. I got discharged into my parents' care… This is my mom and
dad."
Tears welled in my eyes; I was choked up. My equilibrium was being shaken. I
was totally moved. I cleared my throat, smiled and said, "You and your folks are
our guests. Thanks for wanting to come." We hugged, dabbed our eyes and
separated.
I've attended many healing seminars in the United States, Canada, Malaysia, New
Zealand and Australia. I've watched the best healers at work and I've studied,
researched, listened, pondered and questioned what worked, why and how.
That Sunday afternoon I held a seminar that Amy and her parents attended. The
audience was packed to overflowing with over a thousand attendees eager to
learn, grow and become more fully human.
I humbly asked the audience if they wanted to learn a healing process that might
serve them for life. From the stage it appeared that everyone's hand was raised
high in the air. They unanimously wanted to learn.
I taught the audience how to vigorously rub their hands together, separate them
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Law of Attraction Havenby two inches and feel the healing energy. Then I paired them off with a partner
to feel the healing energy emanating from themselves to another. I said, "If you
need a healing, accept one here and now."
The audience was in alignment and it was an ecstatic feeling. I explained that
everyone has healing energy and healing potential. Five percent of us have it so
dramatically pouring forth from our hands that we could make it our profession. I
said, "This morning I was introduced to Amy Graham, a 17-year-old, whose final
wish was to be at this seminar. I want to bring her up here and let you all send
healing lifeforce energy toward her. Perhaps we can help. She did not request it. I
am just doing this spontaneously because it feels right."
The audience chanted, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
Amy's dad led her up onto the stage. She looked frail from all of the
chemotherapy, too much bed rest and an absolute lack of exercise. (The doctors
hadn't let her walk for the two weeks prior to this seminar.) I had the group warm
up their hands and send her healing energy, after which they gave her a tearful
standing ovation.
Two weeks later she called to say that her doctor had discharged her after a total
remission. Two years later she called to say she was married.
I have learned never to underestimate the healing power we all have. It is always
there to be used for the highest good. We just have to remember to use it.
Mark V. Hansen
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Law of Attraction HavenA Story for Valentine's Day
Larry and Jo Ann were an ordinary couple. They lived in an ordinary house on an
ordinary street. Like any other ordinary couple, they struggled to make ends
meet and to do the right things for their children. They were ordinary in yet
another way—they had their squabbles. Much of their conversation concerned
what was wrong in their marriage and who was to blame.
Until one day when a most extraordinary event took place.
"You know, Jo Ann, I've got a magic chest of drawers. Every time I open them,
they're full of socks and underwear," Larry said. "I want to thank you for filling
them all these years."
Jo Ann stared at her husband over the top of her glasses. "What do you want,
Larry?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know I appreciate those magic drawers."
This wasn't the first time Larry had done something odd, so Jo Ann pushed the
incident out of her mind until a few days later.
"Jo Ann, thank you for recording so many correct check numbers in the ledger
this month. You put down the right numbers 15 out of 16 times. That's a record."
Disbelieving what she had heard, Jo Ann looked up from her mending. "Larry,
you're always complaining about my recording the wrong check numbers. Why
stop now?"
"No reason. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort you're making."
Jo Ann shook her head and went back to her mending. "What's got into him?" she
mumbled to herself.
Nevertheless, the next day when Jo Ann wrote a check at the grocery store, she
glanced at her checkbook to confirm that she had put down the right check
number. "Why do I suddenly care about those dumb check numbers?" she asked
herself.
She tried to disregard the incident, but Larry's strange behavior intensified.
"Jo Ann, that was a great dinner," he said one evening. "I appreciate all your
effort. Why, in the past 15 years I'll bet you've fixed over 14,000 meals for me
and the kids."
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Law of Attraction HavenThen "Gee, Jo Ann, the house looks spiffy. You've really worked hard to get it
looking so good." And even "Thanks, Jo Ann, for just being you. I really enjoy
your company."
Jo Ann was growing worried. "Where's the sarcasm, the criticism?" she wondered.
Her fears that something peculiar was happening to her husband were confirmed
by 16-year-old Shelly, who complained, "Dad's gone bonkers, Mom. He just told
me I looked nice. With all this makeup and these sloppy clothes, he still said it.
That's not Dad, Mom. What's wrong with him?"
Whatever was wrong, Larry didn't get over it. Day in and day out he continued
focusing on the positive.
Over the weeks, Jo Ann grew more accustomed to her mate's unusual behavior
and occasionally even gave him a grudging "Thank you." She prided herself on
taking it all in stride, until one day something so peculiar happened, she became
completely discombobulated:
"I want you to take a break," Larry said. "I am going to do the dishes. So please
take your hands off that frying pan and leave the kitchen."
(Long, long pause.) "Thank you, Larry. Thank you very much!" Jo Ann's step was
now a little lighter, her self-confidence higher and once in a while she hummed.
She didn't seem to have as many blue moods anymore. "I rather like Larry's new
behavior," she thought.
That would be the end of the story except one day another most extraordinary
event took place. This time it was Jo Ann who spoke.
"Larry," she said, "I want to thank you for going to work and providing for us all
these years. I don't think I've ever told you how much I appreciate it."
Larry has never revealed the reason for his dramatic change of behavior no
matter how hard Jo Ann has pushed for an answer, and so it will likely remain one
of life's mysteries. But it's one I'm thankful to live with.
You see, I am Jo Ann.
Jo Ann Larsen, Deseret News
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Law of Attraction HavenCarpe Diem!
One who stands as a shining example of courageous expression is John Keating,
the transformative teacher portrayed by Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society. In
this masterful motion picture, Keating takes a group of regimented, uptight and
spiritually impotent students at a rigid boarding school and inspires them to make
their lives extraordinary. These young men, as Keating points out to them, have
lost sight of their dreams and ambitions. They are automatically living out their
parents' programs and expectations for them. They plan to become doctors,
lawyers and bankers because that is what their parents have told them they are
going to do. But these dry fellows have given hardly any thought to what their
hearts are calling them to express.
An early scene in the movie shows Mr. Keating taking the boys down to the school
lobby where a trophy case displays photos of earlier graduating classes. "Look at
these pictures, boys," Keating tells the students. "The young men you behold had
the same fire in their eyes that you do. They planned to take the world by storm
and make something magnificent of their lives. That was 70 years ago. Now they
are all pushing up daisies. How many of them really lived out their dreams? Did
they do what they set out to accomplish?" Then Mr. Keating leans into the cluster
of preppies and whispers audibly, "Carpe diem! Seize the day!"
At first the students do not know what to make of this strange teacher. But soon
they ponder the importance of his words. They come to respect and revere Mr.
Keating, who has given them a new vision—or returned their original ones.
All of us are walking around with some kind of birthday card we would like to give
—some personal expression of joy, creativity or aliveness that we are hiding
under our shirt.
One character in the movie, Knox Overstreet, has a terminal crush on a gorgeous
girl. The only problem is that she is the girlfriend of a famous jock. Knox is
infatuated with this lovely creature down to a cellular level but he lacks the
confidence to approach her. Then he remembers Mr. Keating's advice: Seize the
day! Knox realizes he cannot just go on dreaming—if he wants her, he is going to
have to do something about it. And so he does. Boldly and poetically he declares
to her his most sensitive feelings. In the process he gets turned away by her,
punched in the nose by her boyfriend and faces embarrassing setbacks. But Knox
is unwilling to forsake his dream, so he pursues his heart's desire.
Ultimately she feels the genuineness of his caring and opens her heart to him.
Although Knox is not especially good-looking or popular, the girl is won over by
the power of his sincere intention. He has made his life extraordinary. I had a
chance to practice seizing the day myself. I developed a crush on a cute girl I met
in a pet store. She was younger than I, she led a very different lifestyle and we
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Law of Attraction Havendid not have a great deal to talk about. But somehow none of this seemed to
matter. I enjoyed being with her and I felt a sparkle in her presence. And it
seemed to me she enjoyed my company as well.
When I learned her birthday was coming up, I decided to ask her out. On the
threshold of calling her, I sat and looked at the phone for about half an hour. Then
I dialed and hung up before it rang. I felt like a high school boy, bouncing
between excited anticipation and fear of rejection. A voice from hell kept telling
me that she would not like me and that I had a lot of nerve asking her out. But I
felt too enthusiastic about being with her to let those fears stop me. Finally I got
up the nerve to ask her. She thanked me for asking and told me she already had
plans.
I felt shot down. The same voice that told me not to call advised me to give up
before I was further embarrassed. But I was intent on seeing what this attraction
was about. There was more inside of me that wanted to come to life. I had
feelings for this woman, and I had to express them. I went to the mall and got
her a pretty birthday card on which I wrote a poetic note. I walked around the
corner to the pet shop where I knew she was working. As I approached the door,
that same disturbing voice cautioned me, "What if she doesn't like you? What if
she rejects you?" Feeling vulnerable, I stuffed the card under my shirt. I decided
that if she showed me signs of affection, I would give it to her; if she was cool to
me, I would leave the card hidden. This way I would not be at risk and would
avoid rejection or embarrassment.
We talked for a while and I did not get any signs one way or the other from her.
Feeling ill-at-ease, I began to make my exit. As I approached the door, however,
another voice spoke to me. It came in a whisper, not unlike that of Mr. Keating. It
prompted me, "Remember Knox Overstreet. . . . Carpe diem!" Here I was
confronted with my aspiration to fully express my heart and my resistance to face
the insecurity of emotional nakedness. How can I go around telling other people
to live their vision, I asked myself, when I am not living my own? Besides, what's
the worst thing that could happen? Any woman would be delighted to receive a
poetic birthday card. I decided to seize the day. As I made that choice I felt a
surge of courage course through my veins. There was indeed power in intention.
1 felt more satisfied and at peace with myself than I had in a long time… I needed
to learn to open my heart and give love without requiring anything in return.
I took the card out from under my shirt, turned around, walked up to the counter
and gave it to her. As I handed it to her I felt an incredible aliveness and
excitement—plus fear. (Fritz Perls said that fear is "excitement without breath.")
But I did it.
And do you know what? She was not particularly impressed. She said, "Thanks"
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Law of Attraction Havenand put the card aside without even opening it. My heart sank. I felt disappointed
and rejected. Getting no response seemed even worse than a direct brush-off.
I offered a polite good-bye and walked out of the store. Then something amazing
happened. I began to feel exhilarated. A huge rush of internal satisfaction welled
up within me and surged through my whole being. I had expressed my heart and
that felt fantastic! I had stretched beyond fear and gone out on the dance floor.
Yes, I had been a little clumsy, but I did it. (Emmet Fox said, "Do it trembling if
you must, but do it!") I had put my heart on the line without demanding a
guarantee of the results. I did not give in order to get something back. I opened
my feelings to her without an attachment to a particular response.
The dynamics that are required to make any relationship work: Just keep putting
your love out there.
My exhilaration deepened to a warm bliss. I felt more satisfied and at peace with
myself than I had in a long time. I realized the purpose of the whole experience: I
needed to learn to open my heart and give love without requiring anything in
return. This experience was not about creating a relationship with this woman. It
was about deepening my relationship with myself. And I did it. Mr. Keating would
have been proud. But most of all, I was proud.
I have not seen the girl much since then, but that experience changed my life.
Through that simple interaction I clearly saw the dynamics that are required to
make any relationship and perhaps the whole world work: Just keep putting your
love out there.
We believe that we are hurt when we don't receive love. But that is not what
hurts us. Our pain comes when we do not give love. We were born to love. You
might say that we are divinely created love machines. We function most
powerfully when we are giving love. The world has led us to believe that our well
being
is dependent on other people loving us. But this is the kind of upside-down
thinking that has caused so many of our problems. The truth is that our well
being
is dependent on our giving love. It is not about what comes back; it is
about what goes out!
Alan Cohen
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Law of Attraction HavenI Know You, You're Just Like Me!
One of our closest friends is Stan Dale. Stan teaches a seminar on love and
relationships called Sex, Love and Intimacy. Several years ago, in an effort to
learn what the people in the Soviet Union were really like, he took 29 people to
the Soviet Union for two weeks. When he wrote about his experiences in his
newsletter, we were deeply touched by the following anecdote.
While walking through a park in the industrial city of Kharkov, I spotted an old
Russian veteran of World War II. They are easily identified by the medals and
ribbons they still proudly display on their shirts and jackets. This is not an act of
egotism. It is their country's way of honoring those who helped save Russia, even
though 20 million Russians were killed by the Nazis. I went up to this old man
sitting with his wife and said, "Druzhba i mir" (friendship and peace). The man
looking at me as if in disbelief, took the button we had made for the trip and said
"Friendship" in Russian and showed a map of the U.S. and the U.S.S.R. being held
by loving hands, and said, "Americanski?" I replied, "Da, Americanski. Druzhba i
mir." He clasped both my hands as if we were long lost brothers and repeated
again, "Americanski!" This time there was recognition and love in his statement.
For the next few minutes he and his wife spoke in Russian as if I understood
every word, and I spoke English as if I knew he would understand. You know
what? Neither of us understood a word, but we surely understood each other. We
hugged, and laughed and cried, all the while saying, "Druzhba i mir, Americanski."
"I love you, I am proud to be in your country, we do not want war. I love you!"
After about five minutes we said good-bye, and the seven of us in our little group
walked on. About 15 minutes later, some considerable distance on, this same old
veteran caught up with us. He came up to me, took off his Order of Lenin medal
(probably his most prized possession) and pinned it to my jacket. He then kissed
me on the lips and gave me one of the warmest, most loving hugs I have ever
received. Then we both cried, looked into each other's eyes for the longest time,
and said, "Dossvedanya" (good-bye).
The above story is symbolic of our entire "Citizen Diplomacy" trip to the Soviet
Union. Every day we met and touched hundreds of people in every possible and
impossible setting. Neither the Russians nor ourselves will ever be the same.
There are now hundreds of school children from the three schools we visited who
will not be quite so ready to think of Americans as people who want to "nuke"
them. We danced, sang and played with children of every age, and then we
hugged, kissed and shared presents. They gave us flowers, cakes, buttons,
paintings, dolls, but most importantly, their hearts and open minds.
More than once we were invited to be members of wedding parties, and no
biological family member could have been more warmly accepted, greeted and
More Free Books
Law of Attraction Havenfeted than we were. We hugged, kissed, danced and drank champagne, schnapps
and vodka with the bride and groom, as well as Momma and Poppa and the rest
of the family.
In Kursk, we were hosted by seven Russian families who volunteered to take us in
for a wonderful evening of food, drink and conversation. Four hours later, none of
us wanted to part. Our group now has a complete new family in Russia.
The following night "our family" was feted by us at our hotel. The band played
until almost midnight, and guess what? Once again we ate, drank, talked, danced
and cried when it came time to say good-bye. We danced every dance as if we
were passionate lovers, which is exactly what we were.
I could go on forever about our experiences, and yet there would be no way to
convey to you exactly how we felt. How would you feel when you arrived at your
hotel in Moscow, if there were a telephone message waiting for you, written in
Russian, from Mikhail Gorbachev's office saying he regretted he could not meet
with you that weekend because he would be out of town, but instead he had
arranged for your entire group to meet for two hours in a round-table discussion
with about a halfdozen members of the Central Committee? We had an extremely
frank discussion about everything, including sex.
How would you feel if more than a dozen old ladies, wearing babushkas, came
down from the steps of their apartment buildings and hugged and kissed you?
How would you feel when your guides, Tanya and Natasha, told you and the
whole group that they had never seen anyone like you? And when we left, all 30
of us cried because we had fallen in love with these fabulous women, and they
with us. Yes, how would you feel? Probably just like us.
Each of us had our own experience, of course, but the collective experience bears
out one thing for certain: The only way we are ever going to ensure peace on this
planet is to adopt the entire world as "our family." We are going to have to hug
them, and kiss them. And dance and play with them. And we are going to have to
sit and talk and walk and cry with them. Because when we do, we'll be able to
see that, indeed, everyone is beautiful, and we all complement each other so
beautifully, and we would all be poorer without each other. Then the saying, "I
know you, you're just like me!" will take on a mega-meaning of, "This is 'my
family,' and I will stand by them no matter what!"
Stan Dale